Two cowboys were way out on the range when one of them decided to answer the call of nature. As he was doing his business, a rattlesnake bit him on his ass.

"Joe, I've been snakebit on the ass! Ride into town and call the doctor!"

"Okay, Bill. I'll be back as fast as I can."

Joe rides 20 miles into town and calls the doctor. The doctor asks some questions and then says, "Well, you should've brought him in with you. Since you didn't, you're going to have to cut across the bite holes and suck out the venom. That should keep Bill alive long enough for him to get treatment."

Joe again mounts his horse and rides as fast as he can. When he reaches, Bill, he breaks the bad news. "Bill, I'm sorry! The doctor said you're going to die!"