My yard is apparently infested with small possums, about the size of a big rat. Young ones. Oreo the Brainless Dog went psycho a few nights back, and I figured it was one of the local cats. Let the dog out into the yard and she tore around the corner. I don't worry about the cats, who are five times faster than the dog and typically go up a tree and make faces at her. Suddenly, back around the corner comes this little rat-thing running past my feet and under the fence. Thought at first it was a rat, but a closer look revealed the distinctive possum face. The dog, far too stupid to see that her quarry had slid past her, barked by the side of the house for a while.

Later that night, the dog started barking again out in the little fenced yard where she goes to the bathroom. A dog door opens out into it. We shut the dog door off to try and shut her up. Lo, here comes the little possum up over the dog fence and into the dog yard. Had the dog door been open, Oreo would have inflicted the vermin death that only a terrier can deliver. As is, she went nuts by the window while the possum found a small load of dog barf in the corner and started feasting.

Ewwwwwwwwww.

I loaded up with an oven mitt and a plastic container and went out to catch the little booger. Finally apprehended him and stuck him in a big plastic critter cage with some water, shavings, and some slightly fresher dog food. My daughter dubbed him Sneaky Pete. Oreo was beside herself with frustration, but forgot about it once I put the possum cage out of sight in the garage. The next morning he was shipped off to Wildlife Rescue, a worthy outfit near here. I dropped him off with a $20 donation for expenses and came home.

I have one of those Safety Traps for small animals, the metal wire kind where they go in and a door shuts. Later that day, I set one of these by the side of the house.

Late that evening, behold. Another minature possum. He crapped all over the trap. I stuck him in the now-empty critter cage and cleaned and reloaded the trap. Next morning, a third possum. More crap too. I dumped him in the critter cage where he and the other possum got on like long-lost brothers, which they probably were. Both of them hissed at me. Off to the Wildlife Rescue today. Another bloody $20. They told me that the possums were young, but probably old enough to fend for themselves, so I will probably just release any future possums down by the creek. With our dog, and all the cats around here, our yard is not a good place for little possums.

The big ones, with teeth clear back to their elbows, can take care of themselves.

We used to have raccoons. We are in the center of a suburb. I don't know where these guys hang out in the daytime.