He is our resident expert on the X-files and a science fiction writer.

(I think he even scripted a few episodes!)

Mulder: "That's right."

Scully: "No really? I never knew that?"

Mulder: "There's lots of things you don't know Scully."

Scully: "I'm not sure just what to believe anymore Mulder. After all I've experienced I know something is out there."

Mulder: "Scully....The truth is out there."

Keith: "It's all a lie - I was misquoted! Those French reporters ruined my garden and misquoted me! "

Mulder: "Aw come on Keith, you wrote some of our best episodes. The one where the aliens implant the chip was spectacular. I'm like all dark and moody. That was a great bit of writing."

Scully: "He wrote that one? Wow."

Mulder: "And the bee scene in the Movie? Chris told me Keith gave him that idea when he was stung by a bee in his garden! That scene made the movie!"

Scully: "I hate bees."

Mulder: "My wife Tea would squish a bee without flinching."

Scully: "Your wife is a tall airhead."

Mulder: "Like you should talk. I'll put the words in single syllables so you can understand what I'm saying...you suck."

Scully: "No you do."

Mulder: "You know I voted for George Bush?"

Scully: "Really?"

Mulder: "Yep. I couldn't get myself to vote for someone who claps like a retarded girl. It's for that reason I can't vote for Gephardt either."

Scully: "Yeah what's with that? Did they go to fay clap school or something?"

Mulder: "I don't know, but whatever it is - it freaks me out. The only thing that freaks me out more is looking at Gray Davis' hair."

Scully: "Isn't it a hairpiece?"

Mulder: "It couldn't look any faker if it was. Anyone who spends that much time on their hair - that freaks me out too."

Scully: "I'm Canadian you know. I can't vote."

Mulder: "Like everyone couldn't guess you were Canadian?"

Scully: "What the he-- is that supposed to mean?"

Mulder: "I dunno."

Scully: "You ---h--e!"

Mulder: "Bravo. Now after another twenty lessons you may actually learn how to emote and be believable."

Scully: "I'm leaving."

Mulder: "Not the show I hope...you ain't getting any other gigs after this babe."

Scully: "Scr-- you!"

Mulder: "What were we talking about again? I forget. Oh Tea has arrived to pick me up. Tea, these are the guys from the Habitable Zone and you remember Keith who wrote some of our X-files episodes."

Tea: "Oh yeah. Great to meet you guys...not.

Mulder: "She's just joking. Right hon?"

Tea: "Are you serious? The Porsche is doubleparked let's get going."

Mulder: "Whatever. Chow."

SDAI-Tech1

(DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! ALL OTHER USES ARE STRONGLY DISCOURAGED. ALL NAMES AND PERSONALITIES ARE FICTITIOUS. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.)

Mulder: "Yeah Right! This guy's just jerkin' your chains cause he gets off on it!"

Tech1: "Oh Duchovny...that was a great performance on Who wants to be a Millionaire!"

Mulder: "Screw this - I'm out of here."