Maybe we backed the wrong side in the Great War.
After all when the Kaiser and Germany went to war, they fought for their cause without asking for help. When France and Britain declared war, they immidiately began begging the US to fight their war for them. Seems like Ole' Wilhelm was getting the same treatment that Bush is getting today. They just substituted "Hun" for "Cowboy". Had the Fatherland won in 1915 or so, maybe Europe would still have an intact spine, and we'd have a reliable ally.