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Quagmire Index Revised to Reflect Death of Saddam Sons

(2003-07-23) -- Now that Saddam Hussein's sons are dead, a panel of journalists has revised the official Iraq Quagmire Index. According to the new benchmark, all violence against Coalition troops should cease immediately, since Uday and Qusay Hussein are gone.

The Quagmire Index is a service journalists provide to establish hopeful expectations for the future. When those expectations are proved wrong by events, reporters and pundits may officially use the term "quagmire" to describe the situation.

Journalists last revised the index when President George Bush declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq. Reporters interpreted this to mean that if any American troops were killed or wounded after that date, then Mr. Bush had lied about the "war" being over, and Iraq was a Vietnam-like quagmire.

Studies of American news consumers show they appreciate the Quagmire Index because it eliminates the need to consider and remember numerous facts. For journalists it saves time, and bypasses the discomfort of careful news analysis.