Don't despair. History suggests strong reason for hope.
We did impose democracy in Germany, Italy and Japan at the point of a gun.
It seems to have worked.
We did impose civil liberty in the confederate south at the point of a gun, and it ahs worked out.
We did impose democracy in Afghanistan at the point of a gun, and it has so far worked.
The underlying strength of your character is too powerful to be wasted in despair, and I hope you avoid that particular path.
Regards,
Ed