Lindy: You're master of all you survey. Arf.

Bowser: So I was yesterday. And the day before.

[SDAI-Tech1 waves a white handkerchief in the doorway, knocks, then enters.]

SDAI-Tech1: Hello, there. Tech1. SDAI-Tech1. Possibly you've heard of the name — the greatest, eh, criminal mind in the Zone?

Lindy: I told you this was a puny bulletin board.
[She and Johannes advance on SDAI.]

SDAI-Tech1: Wait just a moment! Wait— till you get to know me better, will you, please? [laughs nervously] Wait! Look! I-I-I-I-I can give you, uh, anything you want! I-I can give you the brass ring! The… uh, unlimited freedom to post angrily, cause dissension, annoy posters! Plus… SDAI-Tech1's keen mind, SDAI-Tech1's savvy…SDAI-Tech1's posting guidance, SDAI-Tech1's school of alliteration—

[Lindy posts. SDAI grimaces as his feelings are visibly hurt.]

Bowser: We have most of this without you. You cannot bargain with what we don't want.

SDAI-Tech1: Oh, Canine One. [bows] What I am bargaining with is what you do not have. The key to the Secret Kab-El.

Bowser: The Key to the Kab-El! On this thread?

SDAI-Tech1: Ah, possibly you know it better by its nom de voyage, or the… name it travels under — Modsquad.

Bowser: Ah, so this is the Modsquad. How do you know of Kab-El?

SDAI-Tech1: Oh, my Fullness… as I explained to you before… I'm about the best there is.

Bowser: Revenge! We will destroy the Kab-El of FrankC & RL!

Lindy: Revenge!

SDAI-Tech1: REVENGE! Heh heh, now we're cooking, huh?

Bowser: They post there, then?

SDAI-Tech1: Constantly.

Bowser: The moderators have powers we do not?

SDAI-Tech1: Certainly, but, uh… oh, Defficient One, the Mods are… just five, while you are…three!

[Bowser growls menacingly.]

SDAI-Tech1: Or four, if you count yourself twice.

Bowser: We will bring Robert to his knees!

[Bowser strides toward his keyboard, Lindy and Johannes following.]

SDAI-Tech1: Wait!
[They turn back to SDAI.]

SDAI-Tech1: First you must find it. And SDAI Baby is the only one who knows where it is.

Bowser: What… do you want?

[SDAI makes himself at home and pops open a diet soda.]

SDAI-Tech1: Well, Bows… the Habitable Zone is a very small place. Thank goodness, uh… my needs are very small. Eh, as it turns out, I have this affinity for, uh… researching posts properly.

Bowser: What do you want?

[SDAI, feet up on his desk, makes a Nixonian double-V sign with his fingers.]

SDAI: A Search Function!

Bowser: SDAI-Tech1, who is soon to have a search function, where can we find the Kab-El?

SDAI: Oh your mongrelness it was right before you all the time - it is right here.

Bowser: At last! Now to read the secret posts about me! REVENGE!

Lindy: No more Robert acting like Dick Cheney! REVENGE!

Johannes: No more RL calling me names! REVENGE!

Will the HZ succumb to Bowser? Will he destroy the Modsquad? Will the HZ get a search function? Will the modsquad fight back!

Tune in later on the same HZ threads... on the same HZ boards!

;-)