You can't give a kid too much affection. You can give them too much attention, and definitely too much "stuff."

For the most part, and within reason, a parent's instincts are pretty damn good when figuring out what to do with a kid.

Every kid is different. That simple phrase should be carved in stone on every house with kids. The "right time" for certain developments varies immensely. My sister, who is quite intelligent, didn't talk hardly at all until about three, and then started in with sentences. My kids were going on four when they were finally fully toilet trained, and then there was never an accident after that. My mom told me not to sweat it--she'd never seen a kid go to college in diapers. One baby I know never really got into crawling, but developed an odd rolling-around method instead. Walks normally now.

My folks were dirt poor when I was a baby, and my mom occupied me by letting me sort buttons, or "fish" with a string and a stick in a puddle. It doesn't take fancy development toys to raise good kids. It takes an adult interacting with them. You're right...there's an astounding number of things like this that are fading away. Remember the six million things you could do with popsicle sticks? How to make playdoh out of salt and flour?

Some toys are better than others. Look for things that kick-start a kid's imagination. A toy that does it all for the kid will be collecting dust in a week.

If I wanted to make a list of twenty ways to raise a smart kid who will do well in school, "read to them a LOT" would be numbers 1 through 15.