You know,
you display such patience and good will that I feel guilty banging on you like this. One last shot (because I thought of a good story), and I'm done. I promise.
When I was about 7 years old I pilfered a quantity of mechanical and electrical odds and ends from my Pa's (grandfather on mother's side) shed. I remember that one component was a spark plug. These I nailed or wired to a plank of wood and connected them together with more wire. I called it my invention. It looked pretty cool, to my young eyes. But it never did anything surprising.