re: Life is short, get a divorce
I divorced three weeks short of my 20th anniversary.
And I still loved him, but he wouldn't got to counseling or get help with his alcohol addiction, which was not a problem when we first married. It was the wrecking ball that destroyed my marriage (can I add the women in there too that he was sleeping with?)
Sometimes marriages are far from perfect, but they survive.
This one would have killed my spirit. So I raised the kids myself and they are FINE young adults. I made the right choice.
Good luck to you.