The US was attacked yesterday. A suicide attack was mounted in the very shadow of Manhattan Island. Brave, innocent Americans were very nearly killed and a large and very valuable aircraft lost. If the perpetrators of this atrocity are allowed to get away with it unchallenged, the US will be the laughingstock of the world. We will lose credibility, honor and ultimately power.

I propose war, a war of retribution, a war of punishment and a certain amount of plunder. A war which will pay for itself. A war for all reasons.

Those were Canadian geese which attacked that airliner. Who would have thought the Canadians would fly birds into planes? First we need to protect ourselves from further attacks. For starters, all Canadian geese in America should have their immigrant status reviewed, that is, after they are tortured. Most of the flock is still loose, and should be tracked to the end of the world. There could be a flock for ticking out there.

Those geese originated in Canada, even if they have infiltrated America and have resided here for generations in cells, or flocks, to lull us into letting down our guard. Those resident cells, or flocks, that fifth column, is literally crapping all over us.

Let's look at the source of this threat. Today it's geese. But Canada mines uranium, and has numerous reactors which could be used to make any number of suitcase nuclear weapons which could be smuggled into the US, into your neighborhood, and detonated. Your kids school could well be a target. They could launch missiles from boats on Lake Superior. Hell, they could almost slingshot them at us. Think they wouldn't? Do you want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud? Damned if they couldn't strap incendiary devices to the back of geese. If ever a pre-emptive strike were justified, it is now. And it wouldn't even be "pre-emptive" - we were attacked.

Canada has oil. Lots of land, wheat. There aren't a lot of them, about the size of Afghanistan. Whoops, bad reference. We've lost in Afghanistan.

But they do mostly speak English, and those that don't, speak French, that odius language which should be eradicated in this hemisphere. No translators would be needed. We could fill Guantanamo once again, with folks picked at random for a Caribbean vacation.

We wouldn't have to travel far, wouldn't have to transport things through Pakistan for instance. And we could bring freedom and democracy, stability and capitalism to that socialist hellhole.

It's simple. Do we want to be a doormat or are we willing to stand up for what's right? De we want to rescue neighbors from socialism, or watch them continue to be oppressed in their economic gulag?

And do we want to protect Americans from foreign violence, from those who envy our way of life, our freedoms, our wealth, our cars, and all that stuff?

I say attack, I say war, in the name of democracy and freedom. We'll be greeted as liberators.

Arf