The 16-year-old has learned the art of guerilla shopping well from her older sisters and from me: go in with a plan, strike, and leave before the salespeople even know you're there. She can go through the sales racks like lightning. She also tends to avoid too-short shorts and belly shirts and so forth. So "appropriate" isn't an issue. The most controversial shirt she ever bought said "I'm not opinionated. I'm always right," which suited her attitude toward life so well that it made everyone who knew her laugh.

The faster we're finished, the more time there is to go to Barnes & Noble or Borders and hang out reading for a while. That's where we always end up.

The problem with clothes shopping with Daddy is, he's not as content with his traditional role as you are. He looks for durability, so they wind up wrangling over individual items that are otherwise within budget and acceptable in other ways. This is fine in shoes. But shirts? She likes light-woven cotton, and she appreciates things that sparkle. We're careful when we launder, so they last a little less than a year, which isn't bad. He thinks they look flimsy.

He, on the other hand, just went to his 35th high school reunion and wore the same dress shirt he wore to the 5th, which I mentioned out loud while we were there, because I noticed it, to my shock, as we walked in. (It has a distinctive, but subtle, pin stripe.) The Wile E. Coyote tie, I understand. I understand the tiny, working slide rule tieclip. But the shirt? I thought it was gone. No: merely hidden. Because of my big mouth, he got a special award, of the type they give at these events, partly for the humor value, and partly because the shirt still fits. He was pleased. The other women just shook their heads. "Some things never change."

The 16-year-old spends what she considers wasted time shopping with him explaining that a) she's a girl, b) she cares about fashion, and c) not everyone wants to train for the Clothing Longevity Olympics.

However, the trip to the book store with Daddy is always more rewarding. I won't go over $50/person except with special pleading, especially since I have a considerable piece of the library catalog in my head. ("We'll reserve it online when we get home.") He'll drop two bills easy.

This is why we own 5,000+ books.