Research, my friend
Knowing your system requirements goes a long way torwards helping you find a new computer. There are a number of sites that check your computer for you to see if you can run sertain programs.
And as for the goose with the egg, just electroplate the thing. Either people will pay you money for "exotic" art, or you'll get arrested by PETA, in which case you can claim the economy made you do it, and make a fortune off of publicity. Either way, cha-ching!