Lindy, (AKA party of the first part)
you have slandered the hair enhanced once too often... Back hair has not, in any scientific study, been linked to any political affiliation or belief...

Our firm would like to point out, however, that ignorant, sad, people that contribute little to humanity, and wish they were important have been statistically correlated with UFO and CONtrail sightings... and yes black triangles too...Hence the number of hairy Yahoos that report that aliens have nothing better to do than stick various objects into their nether regions....

accordingly, the NAH is starting a class action suit against you. We will not split hairs...we think you are a libelous nut... we will prove beyond a whisker of a doubt that you have defamed us purely on physical attributes... Your bald face lies will not stand, No one can shave you now...:) Enough with BICkering, now is the time for equal rights for the hairy. Let the fur fly! (Ever notice the "aliens" you nuts portray have no hair....? More evidence of your anti-hairy bigotry!) We have a strong case.... we suggest you surrender your trailer, and the 2 defunct cars in your yard for restitution... otherwise we will be forced to seek custody of your 20 cats as well....

Expect our summons soon...
Signed Law firm of : Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe (NOT affiliated with "CAR TALK")

;)