Three pairs of dress flats for work (same style, different colors), one pair of sneakers, and two pair of dress pumps (same style, one black and one white). If you count the cast-off sneakers, which I use to mow the lawn, 7 pair. If you count my very large, brightly colored slippers which I use when I put on my clown outfit (also for work) that would be 8.

I have owned the dress pumps since 1995. I know this because I bought the white ones for my sister's wedding, and I thought I might as well buy a black pair for winter while I was there and they were there.

I know lots of women who are not compulsive about shoes. I also know a few men who are, um, compulsive about feet, which might explain why some women pay so much attention to shoes.

"Barefoot and pregnant", just as a reminder, is an expression, a metaphor for having one's activities circumscribed by male domination. It's not to be taken literally.

If you want to know about my excess possessions, ask me about hats.

Enjoy your cheesy poofs. Still living with your mommy? Who's she banging this week?