Well, personally:
I think this country is ready not for a Woman, Brown or Black president, but for a Cryptozoological President!
With all due respect for Mary Anne, I feel like I have no option but to announce that I am forming an exploratory committe of my own.
Here are some early promises for my campaign:
• I will not indulge in negative campaigning. Instead, I will simply eat my opponent.
• I will suspend opponent munching for the duration of any televised debate, as it might harm children to see.
Possible running mates include:
Sasquatch
Architeuthis
Bob Dole (I mean seriously! The guy is a mysterious monster!)
The Kraken
Chupacabra
Basselope
Opus