It's very difficult to engage in debate and not succumb to personalization. It may start about issues but after awhile the participants turn it into a personal war because they have personalized it.

Classic case is the Lindy/Phil war that emerged from different views on crop circles, alien life, etcetera. Phil left all boards but the space board several years ago as a result.

The conflict ER has with Tom or Art has with Tom is much the same problem - personalization of the debate. At a certain point the participants take opposing views as a personal attack and they don't like it.

The Zone fills certain ego-reinforcement needs of all engaged. People fundamentally like to see their name in print and have people respond to their ideas. When their ideas are disagreed with - they personalize it and turn disagreement into insult. Likewise the person disagreeing is equally threatened by conceding any points that give them a deflation.

Once one can free oneself of personalization, and not personalize what others think, then one is truly free to engage in debate with no holds barred and without allowing personalization to paralyze one.

Coming to a BBS with a big ego is the formula for attracting wolves who try to tear you down and become the new leader of the pack. Robert would surely have some primate analogy to insert here about how the Zone is really just a group of monkeys and mimics the sociological conditions of the real world, sans actual physical violence. Marsby would point out which flame warrior profiles are at work, while I point out the sensitivity of the human psyche to perceived deflations.

How many folks leave these boards because they no longer serve their purpose - which is most assuredly concealed to them - the need for interaction, reinforcement and socializing with folks who share the same interests?

If you go to a board and simply perceive repeated deflations - it's no longer fun or enjoyable and becomes very frustrating.

It's helps tremendously when you no longer give such power of deflation to the world around you.

This is lecture 566A of the SDAI Psychological Self Improvement Course. (now available on CD and downloadable MP3 formats for $9.95) No refunds for any reason. All sales are final.

;-)