Very interesting post (as was your other one on events that took place differently in your life). Life is not linear except for your own perception of time. We organize the past into what is pleasant and what is not, the latter most likely being buried. I have had many old friends look me up and vice versa and I think it is an honor to chat with them, exchange photos and if time and space allows....even a meeting.

And I find the same things you do, that we each remember things differently, or barely remember what they remember. Fascinating isn't it? I'm not sure love dies, unless one of you has definately killed it. And I'm not sure that is haunting or not, if you're happily married.
I would say you can accept it without any regrets. As a matter of fact, it ADDS to my life, knowing I was loved. And that I'm still cared for. Some of my greatest laughs come from the men I've known in my life. Face it, anyone who knew you back THEN, knew you without your linear learnings, compromises or deductions. I think (if anything), this is where those old relationships become teling and rewarding. In sharing who you were THEN. It's a rewarding perspective you can't get anywhere else.

>does there come a time for all of us when we need to try and make sense of what went before?

No, but it's interesting when we try to judge it by our own temperal involvement. If anything, it's the reflection of the past that ADDS to our present. No regrets, just don't go there.

>When does the past take on a more vivid presence than the future?

I think it's all relative. We may mourn for old times when things were different, or the memories were more pleasant. But this is just that...a memory. I find that I am blessed to have so many good friends from my past. And that I still love them all, in their own ways, men included. And I miss the women. It never fails to amaze me the simliar roads we have taken and how our understanding has grown parallel to each other.

>Is this natural, or is it something to be resisted and overcome lest we become obsessed with our own mortality?

Ahh, ER. I know as we get older, we have a tendency to look further back and often further ahead........something we just don't do in our 30's or 40's. I think this a very rewarding time for us. We see our challenges, we see our buried emotions in fears and achievements.
To me, my old friends are the weave in the cloth of my life, and mine is a very rich tapestry.