And Pa Bowser, one hell of a guy!! Took on Ma, and managed to, well, rip off a piece.

Next, I'd like to thank all my teachers, who beat sense into me, sometimes with that electronic collar, sometimes with a ping-pong paddle.

And, of course, Davin L., who clarified the nomination in a way I could have never done.

I have to admit that it was a near thing. Miss Nelson's little boy ed manages to give drunks a bad name, and I'm rather proud of being a drunk. However, the committee apparently overlooked that, and here I am, receiving this honor.

From someone who has absolutely no socially redeeming qualities, not a lick of sense, a very limited vocabulary, the manners of a hyena, the sensitivity of a hippotamus, the compassion of a cobra (without the brains of a cobra), and a random word generator for a brain.

The perfect conservative!

Whooda thunk. I am soooo proud I could just drown a little Republican.

Howwwwllllll!!!!!