I wasn't expecting to trigger a debate with my observations. They're just observations: The choice of forum determines people's expectations.

Over the years we've had a considerable number of debates about decorum and "bad manners", and we've never quite been able to codify what we mean by that. We're still at "know it when we see it", and I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I know some people consider me inconsistent because of that, but I'd rather do the appropriate thing than the consistent thing.

But sometimes I think that the HabitableZone is a little too polite...on average, notwithstanding the occasional conflagrations. I try to promote the liveliest discussions with my careful definition of the purpose of the Flame board: Direct attacks on individual members of the community; or dueling attacks by feuding Zoners. I don't consider harsh criticism and insults directed at public figures to be flaming, and I think that they shouldn't be excluded from Current Events, so as to give the participants the maximum freedom of expression.

I appreciate the thought behind Tom's choice to post on Flame in anticipation that somebody will need to "ream" him out, but it's still preemptive self-censorship. It's nice to want to save the moderators the effort of cleaning up flames, or to save people the trouble of switching boards; but balanced against the right of freedom of expression, I think that the consideration might be misplaced. The moderators are servants of the community, and if the exuberant pursuit of freedom of speech creates a little work for us, well, that's what we signed up for. It's hard for me to complain about cleaning up after a successful party; I wouldn't have it any other way.

I understand, too, ER, that being relatively new around here you're concerned about fitting in and not offending people by violating social norms. Since most of our conventions aren't written down, it can take time to absorb them by osmosis. We're not easy to understand right away.

But consider that the term "habitable zone" has a very broad meaning that allows individuals a lot of scope to determine for themselves what they consider "habitability". If the intention had been to create a place of bland tranquility, we might've named the place "SereneSanctuary" or "ParadisePortal". But we didn't. A "habitable zone" is a place of bustling life and often conflict; nothing about it is serene or tranquil.

The point of all my feedback to you is generally to reassure you that it's OK to be yourself, and to encourage you to be self-conscious as little as possible. If I advise you to post more on CE than Flame, it's because I think you'll have more scope to express yourself and you'll have an audience better able to appreciate it. There are no negatives here, only attempts to encourage the positive. Keep going in the general direction you're going; but consider a few minor course corrections along the way to finetune the trajectory.