As someone who did not feel empowered until my 30's...I can identify with this....
It was not until I went to a Myers-Briggs Personality Profiles Seminar that my 'spark' was ignited....and I have never looked back ..however this is a metamorphosis that has taken years to develop....and to some degree still continues.

It comes down to 'nature vs. nuture' again and always. For me, the 'nuture' was my main influence growing up..(and my birth order. I am 3rd born, out of 4, and a female.) Sibling #2 displayed 'nature' 1st. He was considered 'the rebel'...(believe me, it carried a negative connotation)....I needed acceptence...so I was passive.

Team work is rewarded..individuality and autonomy is frowned on....

Our children are confused. Mixed signals are sent. Remember the adage our parents used.."I suppose if they jumped off a bridge, you would too?'...Then in the same breath....ESPECIALLY as teens...'My god child..can't you just get along...go with the flow...do you have to challenge everything?'...then there is the parents' mantra...'I will love you NO MATTER WHAT?'..uh huh, sure until that child decides he can no longer 'play the game' by the adults' rules....but he doesn't know how to make his own rules....and as we have seen...sometimes their own rules run amok...unchecked...because to voice an opinion is to get maligned...'MUST FIT IN"....and we all need to feel we belong, on some level. Free thinking team player..hmmm...ambiguity. We all feel the pressure to some degree...but an immature mind can snap...ESPECIALLY if they feel they have no one they can trust to talk too about these feelings. For gods' sake, I remember my mother saying to me LITERALLY..."Don't feel that way"

There needs to be a shift of paradigm.
Schools need to change, too....this is the information age...well lets' inform...teach children how to speak on their own behalf...inform them that there are all sorts of personalities out there....show them what kind of personality traits they lean towards...their opinion counts...they should not be made to feel like an outsider because they think differently from the 'allowed'...we need to channel their energy to towards individualism...and say what we mean and mean what we say.

I am STILL getting flack from my mother because I do not play by the/HER rules....whatever, Mom.

Sometimes I think that Star Trek: TNG....was prophetic when they introduced 'The Borg"

My 2 cents