My last discussion with MS-Apple customer support

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My last discussion with MS-Apple customer support

R94374L-34 — 5/14/2007 9:45:49 PM (archived)

Me: ADDRESS: D69874-48 MS apple customer support....

(22 minute wait)

Them: HIIII! MY NAME IS PXQUIZZL.... AH ERMS My name iss billy, I am work with MS(MS=female)- red crunchy fruit (=Apple?)

Me: Ummm yeah, I have a problem with my model 3874RE-S replicator...

Them: What (pretty woman) of a replicator do you have, (sir/hon)?

Me: Well I said it is model 3874RE-S, look I think...

Them: Model "38 heaven for reeses" is not a product of ours -sorry we cannot help you, (pretty woman)...

Me: no 3874RE-S....

Them: Let me try again.... ahh ok, you mean the reptilian sexbot?

Me: 3874RE-S

Them: OH.... the replicator... ahhh ok- did it kill you yet?

Me: Ummm no- not yet- that is kinda what I want to avoid.

Them: Can we ask if you have relatives with much resorced with whitch to hire lawyers?

Me: Yes, lets try to assume that...

Them: (Pixlsnff!!) Ok and how can we help you (pretty woman)?

Me: Model does not = (pretty woman) always....

Them:Ok pretty woman

Me: Look it is severely malfunctioning- it may have poisoned me with someting I ate from it

Them: Oh no not to worry it cant do that! The Miss=female, red crunchy fruit (=apple) never makes a mistake!

Me: 40 minutes after it gave me a meal it flashed a blue screen saying that what it gave me could be toxic- it gave me 3 options, "abort, retry, or regurgitate and seek immediate medical attention"

Them: Oh, ummmm that IS bad- press option number three - NOW!

(I did and spent the night having my stomache pumped)

As I said- outsourcing has disadvantages- they did call back to ask if my tentacles were ok....

The whole thread (38 posts)

Broken replicator! HELP! - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 3:50:06 PM
- Please delete this asshole. (n/t) - Bowser - 5/14/2007 9:30:01 PM
  - I thought the handle was pretty damn obvious..... - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 9:59:06 PM
    - What did I post that was one tenth as offensive as your obscene insulting post? - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 10:02:14 PM
      - MODERATOR: I request that Bowser's obscenity be removed.... - ARRELL - 5/14/2007 11:08:02 PM
        
        MOD is dead..... (n/t) - R.L. - 5/18/2007 4:19:52 AM
        
        Ah! You have been banned. I didn't know which asshole it was. - Bowser - 5/15/2007 5:22:07 AM
        
        No, he hasn't. - TB - 5/15/2007 7:37:12 AM
        
        CAREFUL, TOM - ARRELL - 5/15/2007 7:54:43 AM
        
        But what do yo bet Bowsers obscenities will be defended by the 'ubermoderator'? - ARRELL - 5/15/2007 7:59:46 AM
        
        Of course you did! And that was the ONLY reason you complained - :) - 5/15/2007 7:18:23 AM
  - I think humorus speculation on tech support a few hundred yars from now is on topic - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 9:49:36 PM
- Official Notice - Office of the Prime Directorate. - 5/14/2007 7:58:30 PM
  - I have ONLY been working with Dellites can Compaqians - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 8:33:49 PM
    - The Prime Directorate does not slander - Office of the Prime Directorate. - 5/14/2007 8:56:35 PM
      - HA-HA too late..... - FURIOUS CUSTOMER - 5/15/2007 7:37:40 AM
- re: Broken replicator! HELP! - Support MS-Apple - 5/14/2007 4:59:37 PM
  - "For best results only order crystals from the manufacturer " - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 6:54:35 PM
    - Remove the front panel... - (from the Ship Talk website) - 5/14/2007 9:26:34 PM
      - Oh, it isnt that damn easy - R94374L-34 - 5/17/2007 8:50:17 PM
      - But... - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 10:10:11 PM
        
        Scrap yard. - Pd-rox - 5/14/2007 10:54:33 PM
        
        They were all destroyed in 2058 - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 11:14:23 PM
        
        Not all of them. - Pd-rox.5 - 5/14/2007 11:52:36 PM
        
        The claims of illegal Di-lithium trade are a goddamn lie - R94374L-34 - 5/15/2007 7:49:04 AM
        
        Let's just say we don't want any Imperial Entanglements. (n/t) - pd-rox.55 - 5/16/2007 6:12:44 PM
  - About MS-Apple support - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 6:33:33 PM
    - My last discussion with MS-Apple customer support - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 9:45:49 PM
    - It's not our fault - MS-A Support - 5/14/2007 6:45:09 PM
      - Notice of Action - SDG - 5/14/2007 9:29:38 PM
        
        LOL!!!! "I seem to be having trouble with my new MS-Apple quantum modem. " You still dont have a tachyon modem?! - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 10:20:09 PM
        
        If your tachyon modem had been working properly... - TB, Support supervisor - 5/15/2007 12:18:33 AM
        
        What the heck are you talking about? (n/t) - R94374L-34 - 5/17/2007 8:25:57 PM
      - Look, dammit! - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 7:00:55 PM
        
        Gowron, in Tech Support. - Gowron - 5/15/2007 5:19:41 PM
        
        We are sorry. Tech Support's Universal Translator is broken. All request will be handled in Klingon. - GowronMCSD - 5/15/2007 9:50:24 PM
        
        Do you SEE how bad the tech support is?! (n/t) - R94374L-34 - 5/15/2007 10:02:46 PM
        
        And to make matters worse... - R94374L-34 - 5/14/2007 7:07:44 PM

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