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re: Romantic love is as old as humanity
ER — (archived)

No, I didn't say romantic love was a new invention. What I meant to say was that falling in love with your wife was a new invention. At least, before you married her. It was ok to love your spouse after you got to know them. Odysseus did indeed love Penelope, and vice-versa, in our modern sense of the term, but you will recall he originally was one of Helen's (later of Troy) suitors and only married child-bride Penelope after he lost her to Menelaeus. In most societies, couples were betrothed as children and married at puberty. Hardly what we would call "love". In most societies women were sequestered, veiled or covered in layers of clothing to hide them from prying eyes.

Marriage has always (at least until very recently) been determined by the parents. Even as late as the 18/19th centuries you either married who your parents wanted or they at least had veto power. Most romantic stories of the courtly love tradition involved violations of this code, or the eternal triangle: Launcelot/Guinvevere/Arthur, David/Bathsheba/Uriah the Hittite (my favorite bible story, by the way).

Throughout most of history, and in most societies, men had much more sexual freedom, and had access (if they could afford it) to second wives, prostitutes, concubines or slaves to exercise their sexual and amorous pursuits. Women were expected to be either faithful, or if their husbands lost interest, celibate. Even the Pharaohs married their sisters to keep power and heirs in the family, although they also kept harems for their physical and emotional health.

TBs charming love poem is not the only example of genuine Egyptian family affection. I once saw a Middle Kingdom sculpture of a minor official and his wife, a chubby, middle aged couple, with arms about each other's waists and big grins on their faces. There is no doubt there is love there, and the sculptor made it a point to capture it and communicate it. But I suspect when the happy couple first met for their wedding vows they were scared pre-teens who had already been betrothed for years and who had never seen each other.

The modern idea of independent young men and women seeking out and evaluating each other for marriage potential, falling in love and THEN marrying, (dating) is relatively new, and even today restricted to "Westernized" societies. Don't get me wrong, I prefer this system myself, but it is a geographically isolated historical aberration.

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