Space/Science — HabitableZone

Space/Science » in reply to re: The following of Ryan

re: The following of Ryan
Mike Rogaine — (archived)

Beloved Father Ryan,
Thank you so much for taking me into your family. I am just writing to tell you that some of us are already here and waiting for the grand door-opening celebration. I have constructed some simple catapults out of wood and automobile shocks so that we may load the familiys newborns into them and send them hurtling through the door first. How happy they will be when they fly through the door and evolve into their true spiritual state.
I attempted to test the catapults with some kittens first, to judge the appropriate velocity and trajectory, but alas after 37 attempts, we could still not find the door without you to show us the way. Unfortunately we can no longer continue the tests until the local pet shop owner recieves another batch.
Beloved father Ryan, we anxiously await your arrival and I personally will take responsibility for picking up the cat carcasses so that we do not alarm the newer members of our family, who's faith has not yet been tempered.
We love you we love you we love you so much. You are are the milk in our water, and the sand in our food. We love you. May the seven tounged llama lick happily at your ears for all time. We love you.

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