Off Topic — HabitableZone

Off Topic » in reply to Fascinating Jody

Thank you Frank
Jody — (archived)

When I was in the waxing of my anorexia...cosmotology school...my best friend was a 300 lbs.+ fellow student. I felt most comfortable with her. I felt as though I understood her. My heaviest up to that point in my life had been 155....I remember thinking what a cow I was...huh!...getting up to 230, makes one re-define THOSE parameters!

The heavier I became...the farther away my sexuality was. Needless to say, at 230...WHAT sexuality?...I became androgenous....*safe*.

At 53, my weight now, and completely comfortable with myself....I feel as though I have come full circle with my life. I still have moments where I can feel the need to overeat consume me...I try to think about the reason I feel this way...what emotion is being triggered...and most importantly...why am I fighting this emotion?....[trying to bury it as it were.] One of the toughest emotions for me to embrace is the right to feel happy. Hah!...most people eat to replenish their bodies, and because they are hungry...not me..it has to be an insidious subliminal gnawing of undeserved positive self-worthiness that triggers my life long obsession.

I have a friend that is like your wife....basically skin and bones...5'7" and 85 lbs. She eats to live. NOT lives to eat.

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