HabitableZone

Off Topic » in reply to And there is a problem right there

I'm an old and ugly man, too.
ER — (archived)

I know perfectly well what it is to understand what it's like to be invisible to young and attractive women.

Intellectually I understand this, that it is normal and right, but emotionally it haunts me every day. It is devastating at some deep and profound level, no matter how much I tell myself it really shouldn't matter. Of course, in my case it does not necessarily translate to physical fear of violence. But what I fear is almost as bad, it is indifference. It is knowing you no longer matter to young, active, involved people any more--of either gender. Even if they pose no physical threat or even if they are friendly and cordial, you really just don't matter any more to them. As Old Lodge Skins used to say; "I used to be a man who could make things happen."

I have an old friend I still keep in touch with after all these years, we were once lovers, and she was indeed a spectacular, beautiful and accomplished young woman. My friend put it all very succinctly when we talked by telephone a few weeks ago: "I realize now I'm just not as formidable as I used to be."

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