"Would Tom find it as sad if it was a Grandfather?" Yes.
Although Grandpas and Grandmas aren't the same, and aren't supposed to be.
I thank God every day I managed to work my way into a job where I am well-paid to work out of my home. My wife's profession isn't as flexible, although she was there for the kids when they were little.
The first hurdle to overcome when becoming a parent--or a grandparent for that matter--is being able to absorb the fact that is isn't about you any more. If you get past that, a lot of the rest comes a lot easier.