Well, without giving away too much of my past experience, I can tell you this.........

>"Kids do best with two parents".
This is an old fashioned idea. Half of all marriages end in divorce, so most kids grow up from "broken" homes. To some degree, if the kids are adaptable, having second homes and a second set of "parents" actually gives them an advantage on life. They learn to be "fair and balanced"....that is IF their respective sets of parents are fair and balanced.

>"A single parent is starting the race from behind the line."
Yes, but they CAN finish, often with honors.

>"If the woman can't manage to come up with a committed relationship first,........."

LOL.......really Tom, REALLY! There are no guarantees in life.
The most committed man you THINK you married or are engaged to, can turn out to be the man who breaks your heart. Give me a break....

>"then her decision to have a kid anyway is again, about her, and not about the kid. '

DISAGREE STRONGLY.
You underestimate women. Guess you've never met some truly independent women.....then again, how would you know to deal with them?? There is a new breed of women out there who are financially and psychologically independent. They scare the hell out of most men.
And it takes a special type of man to appreciate and trust her, work with her. She doesn't need "support", financial or otherwise.

So then, what would your role be?