You know those primordial black holes that make up all the dark matter out there?
Ages ago the Universe was full of galaxies. Slowly but surely, the black holes in and
around them acquired sentience by collecting the minds of entire societies in their
powerful magnetic fields while feeding on all the matter around them.

Now they make up over 70 percent of the known Universe. And the Milky Way is next
on their list (next from their perspective means the next few billion years or so). That’s
why the Andromeda galaxy is heading towards us; see, the galaxies are also sentient in
ways different from what we can comprehend. The Milky Way and Andromeda are uniting
to become a large galaxy to ward off the coming of the primordial black holes.

That’s why you see ellipticals like M87 with trillions of suns, for they too are merged
galaxies preparing for the coming Cosmic Apocalypse, when the Final Battle between the
Suns of Light and the Dark Forces of Eternity decide who will become the one and only
Masters of the Cosmos.

And meanwhile all those tiny little bugs around all those little specks of dust circling the
galaxies’ cells keep thinking that big-headed creatures in silver disks conducting anal probes
are the height of intelligence.

Little do they know....