Off Topic — HabitableZone

Off Topic » in reply to You nut!

holding a grudge
DJL — (archived)

What's the use?
I've made improvements, or so I would like to think, while on my self discovery journey.
One thing I've discovered was that I held a grudge over my wife for what she had done to me. But now realizing that holding on to this grudge would have not helped anyone. Not her. Not me. Not our kids. In reality I had a grudge on myself for letting it happen. This a a complete waste of time.

I let go. Of the grudge and of many other things, and emotions started rolling in like a tsunami on a christmas eve. In the midts of them all I was able to focus on a few: my friends passing, my wifes love, and the incredible feeling for my kids, which I honestly cannot describe.

I let go, of my friend. Of a grudge I held over my head for not helping him through his journey. The sadness, the pain and the anger. I let them all go. He can now start his new journey and leave me here, because this is where I want to be. This is where I belong. Close to my wife and kids.

I let go of the fear of feeling something for someone else. I let it hit me with all of its intensity and push me over the edge, into the unknown. I now feel the love for my wife and I see her love surround me, and what a comforting feeling that is.

I let go of the fear of the unknown and embraced the miracle that are my kids. I let go of a grudge over them for not being like me... not being like something I knew and knew how to deal with. Their laughs, their cries, their joy and pain. They are all part of me now, and I welcome joyfully anything that they will bring into my life, even if I don't know how to deal with it.

And while doing so I keep reminding myself: unconditional love exists.

Some believe in a God. Some believe in the irrefutable Science. Some just believe everything is possible if you just love unconditionally.

In that respect, Jody, I know you feel the same way. In that respect we are one and the same. Our preferred weapon is honesty and open-ness ??!

Daren

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