Now I understand..............
The reason you are so depraved is that you are deprived? When the Little People are acting up you have only two choices. 1.) you can try to ignore them---(impossible, but you can try), or
2.) you can roll out of bed, go to the floor, slip under the bed and join them.
You have obviously lived with these mini-demons for a long time. The point is, they haven't destroyed you to date--so they must have accepted you. Remember the Bible has the injunction where Christ says, "resist not evil." So for you, don't resist...join the party. Look upon your "hard-drinking leprechauns" as a gaggle of little Eds.
Party on Druid dude.
Publius