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"MY circle"
Jody — (archived)

I was not going to respond to anymore posts because it is obvious that it did not matter...and generally speaking, I make no excuses for my intentions or actions. I do the best I know how, without feeling guilty or resentful. Resentful diminishes me as a person.

My daughter went out with a young man years ago. She was 17...he was 22. Russell made life bloody hell for my daughter. I stayed on the side lines watching, ready to jump in at any given moment. It was her life and I realized after 5 or 6 failed attempts on my part to make things *right* that my efforts were futile. (Note:...MY perception of what right was)

They broke up after he went to jail for forgery.
I stayed in touch with this young man the whole time he was in jail. ( He has parents who temporarilly gave up on him) I took Russell underwear, socks and undershirts. I visited him once a month and always gave him the allotted amount of money allowed for spending on books, gum, junk food..whatever he wanted. He would call me 2-3 times aweek while he did his stint...and the calls were collect. He was a lovely yet misdirected young man. I love Russell.
When he got out of jail our friendship continued. For 5 years I bought his young son Christmas....and yes..I was greedy. I wanted to see this beautiful little boys' face when he opened up his presents, so I arranged for Russell to call me Christmas morning before the little guy got up.
For Russell and his wife, I would take them to the grocery store about 4 times a year and let them load up...with anything they needed.
The little guy came to Miss Jodys' house to show me his new bike. He fell over the handle bars and fractured his kidney. I was by their side the whole step of the way with his recovery.
I fed Russell...I gave Russell rides to his job interviews...I adopted his pet snake when he went to jail.... I gave him my breakfast table and chairs....to name just a *few* things I *chose*..no...*insisted* on doing. His wife would call me and we would talk for hours...she had no one to talk to about her life with Russell....he was indeed a handful. I *NEVER* gave up on him. NEVER. If Russell needs something I will do my best to see he gets it..

His lovely wife has earned her degree in nursing now. He is a stay at home Daddy. They have bought their first house. They have gotten rid of their *training wheels*....and are all grown up now. I do not see them much anymore...because they are doing great. Hopefully, some day they will pay it forward.
The cards I receved from Russell while he was in jail and what he wrote to me from his heart made it all worthwhile.

I am but one person. When I love..I love hard..and forever...up close..or from a distance. If no one is there to pick up my pieces when I am down, is moot. I *do not* work that way.

This is just one example of what I insist on doing. Unfortunately it will *invariably* not meet with someone elses' expectations. ~I do not want a medal..or a chest to pin it on. EVER.~ It is part of who I am intrinisically and I will not change BECAUSE, it is the best I know how..

The last thing I have recently done was forgive a $14,000 loan...however it was with the precept that they are on their own from now on...so I guess I am conditional.

I am NOT rich. Monetarily anyway.

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