...but I decided to, against my better instincts.

Charity and the blue state/red state giving mechanisms are deeply disparate and I don't believe a truly accurate measure of giving can be measured.

Having lived in the 2nd, 7th & 8th largest cities in the US for a period of time, two blue state cities & one red state city, and learning and participated in the charitable structures of each, I fell qualified to point out this disparity.

Blue state charity is very different than red state charity. In red states, the churches, by far and large are the dominant force for charity and redistribution of wealth. Here churches are HUGE. I mean H U G E. I have seen 5 million plus dollar churches in red state big cities that make the Crystal Cathedral appear like a clapboard church on the outskirts of Skokie. The universal citizen participation in these churches is astounding. I'd say that I'm seeing almost 85-90% of the population involved in some sort of organized religion. The churches manage tons of social things, groups and efforts. They host and often sponsor the various scouting organizations, help the homeless, run daycare facilities, contribute in many ways to the needy both locally and afar. Anyone who participates in organized religion here is very likely to spend a good share for such charity.

In the blue states, the role of charity is a very personal one and is quite distanced from religion. In blue cities you often encounter the cardboard holders at every freeway exit and major high traffic intersection. It's easy to spend a couple hundred a month on these folks and have it go completely unrecorded. ANd before the cardboard thing became popular, there were the vagrants sitting outside of Winchell's donuts (etc.) in the cold with a cup or a hat on the ground. I can only speak for my own experience and observations, but I suspect TONS of "charity" goes unrecorded in blue state cities. The other major form of blue state charities is in the form of Salvation Army and its army of imitations. Value Village, Purple Heart, United Veterans, Disabled Veterans, Valuable Purple United Disabled Veterans, etcetera. These make a much better score in blue state cities and seem much more active in blue states than in red states. Collecting everything from books, clothes and furniture - an increasing number of these organizations are also NOT-tax deductible and can't be considered "selfish" giving for tax write off purposes.

So I would say the money is equally contributed by both and that both of you are childish to try to score points on something as flaky as someone's selfishness/greediness based upon charitable contributions/relative income.