Off Topic — HabitableZone

Off Topic » in reply to Why modern men avoid marriage

re: Why modern men avoid marriage
ER — (archived)

The stereotype is not true. Men don't avoid marriage because they can get all the sex they want without it. If that were the case, there would be no marriage during times when prostitution is widespread, as it was in Victorian times.

Men delay and postpone marriage because the old system of premarital chastity almost guaranteed that couples would marry prematurely to partners that were sexually incompatible, and that both spouses would be inexperienced and incompetent as sexual partners: is it any wonder prostitution and infidelity has always been so popular, and marriages became loveless deserts so quickly, especially in those eras that practiced strict sexual abstinence before matrimony? In order to enforce this one sided sytem of denial (because it victimized women much more than men), a cruel system of cultural intimidation and coercion had to be employed, again, one that preferentially discriminated against women but that was also psychologically devastating to men as well.

The old timers didn't stay together because marriage was more stable back then, they were forced to stay together by law, custom, church and social pressure. Divorce and the ability to earn their own living has been the best thing that ever happened to women. Times have changed, and the new system is not without its faults; managing sexual tension in a social environment is a colossal challenge for any culture, but there is no way we should allow a childish nostalgia for a past that never existed to allow us to discard the real progress we've achieved and reinstall the injustices we left behind.

As our libertarians here are always pointing out, with real freedom always comes risk, and responsibility.

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