I'm putting this in Flame because I'm going to once again take a potshot at religion and it deals with the devastating tornado that flattened a Midwestern city which could potentially cause some heartache should someone have a tie to one of the people that died.

On the way into work this morning, there was a report on the radio about the tornado which was the first I'd heard about it and I'll be damned if the reporters didn't find some survivor to interview and the first thing out of her mouth was that her prayers had saved her. For some reason these days, pronouncements like this particularly irk me to no end. First of all, it's rife on the media. You just about can't see a sporting event or newscast anymore where someone isn't thanking Jesus or God for saving them from disaster or giving them the win over their rivals.

Somehow nobody calls these pious jerks on the logic of all of this. For with every sports victor there's a loser. For every caught pass there's numerous ones that were dropped. Often these events also include season-ending and life-altering injuries to the players. Yet we can just accept that God decided for this individual and his teammates that his prayers were better than those from the opposition and gave him an advantage, almost like having a referee being paid off.

The tornado survivor obviously had a better connection with the almighty than the 8 people that were blasted apart from 200 mph winds. Why is it we can just accept that this deity has the ability to open up its ears to this one lady and spare her from impalement and yet calmly watch as a town is destroyed and lives brutally ended?

I am so fucking tired of this double standard in our lives. Let's say I accept there's this omnipotent force that created us all (which of course I won't). Is this bonehead all-powerful or not cause there seems to be this major confusion in all the believers. He gives us free will but of course only when he's not listening to my perfectly syntactical prayers. Then he's on my side.

Come on all you good Christian dudes and dudettes out there that preach this whole free-will concept. Where's your outrage when some cross-wearing jock screams "Thank you Jesus" as he spikes the ball into the end zone? No, of course you won't be disturbed by it because you've managed to rationalize the whole conundrum. We can't understand God's will and actions because we're simply not God-like enough to understand. It's his will and it cannot be questioned. We simply have to walk around like zombies and love the cosmic practical joker.

I should tell you that the weekend didn't help with my annoyance over religion. I got to attend a memorial service for an old next door neighbor that watched our children in their younger years. She was a Hispanic lady that we became very close to along with the rest of her family. Nana was very religious and probably became more so in her final years. During the service, 5 of her 6 sons and daughters were in attendance. The minister, after doling out the typical prayers and recruiting messages, gave anyone that wanted an opportunity to come up and speak on her behalf and one could tell from the large number of people that participated that she'd spread a lot of love and touched a number of lives. Many that spoke of course talked of her devotion to God and Jesus and how she was sharing the afterlife with them and her husband who had died years before.

But within these messages seeped this almost cult-like feel and this very in-your-face fundamentalist message that obviously cared not about the personal beliefs of any of the few hundred people in attendance. Sure we were in a church and one expects the typical prayers and music that accompany such a setting but this was the whole "I accepted Jesus and saved myself from a tragic life" crap that one would expect at some revival meeting or the Salvation Army. Many that got up obviously thought the moment was about them instead of the all the others there to share the grief. We got to sit through 2 hours of this bile and it reinforced why I left the church so many years ago. One could feel this clique and this strong message of exclusion to anyone not on board. The minister made it clear once the testimonial were over that it was all about spreading the word and not about comforting the ones left behind as he poured out this sugary ending about how attractive the afterlife would be for those who fit into the mold.

Here's a clue to all you good Christians out there. When you hold a public event or you're in a group at a party, not every fucking person around you buys into the whole "Jesus guarantees you eternal life" bullshit and might feel a bit uncomfortable if that message is pounded into them as though no other opinions count. You want to talk amongst yourself? Fine. Wait til your normal Sunday services or your gatherings where you can be assured of the makeup of the attendees.

Here's one guy that's going to get more and more militant about pointing out your rudeness and idiocy.

Art