Flame — HabitableZone

Flame » in reply to Black and White

Both - And v. Black and White, Either - Or", and "but".
Bowser — (archived)

I'd like to thank people for the nice words. Lindy, Mary Anne, Robert, Publius, Laurie. It was useful to put into words all at once the rationale behind the visceral response to senseless cruelty which has developed to a stronger degree as I have gotten older. And one ages fast in some situations.

The post to which I responded is titled "Black and White", and it's obvious from some posters that people who think in terms of "black and white", also known as "either - or", cannot understand "both-and". There was more than one of those.

I think that requires an understanding of the world which just isn't available to some minds yet, and may not ever be. Children grow up with a black and white view of the world, and it requires some angst to realize, for instance, that parents had faults. BOTH nice people AND sometimes childish, arbitrary and mean. Sometimes we both do the best we can AND it is not good. Rather than confront those kinds of realities, it can be easier to defend ourselves from anxiety with a rigid view.

One poster not only couldn't understand "both - and", he had to modify the tone and meaning of my post to include "but". That was neither in the spirit or letter of what I said, AND it seems to make it more understandable to that poster. I'd like to make it clear he had to change the meaning of what was said to make it fit his view of the world, not my reality.

Thanks again. Though it was a bit uncomfortable to do that at first, I feel better.

Arf

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